Friday, December 24, 2010

Am I on candid camera?

Have they decided to relaunch the oh-so-funny show?

So after a long day at work, (which should be it's own blog entry. I realize I haven't given it proper props. Quick summary: working at a local community paper covering lifestyle and culture of the county. I am thrilled to be finally putting my journalism degree to use....and get to meet some interesting and kind people that I otherwise wouldn't have met. I'll write more later.) it's Christmas Eve-Eve and I'm finished with work and stop by the grocery store for a few things and find out they are out of butter. I need butter. I have to make my grandmother's famous potato recipe and it practically uses a stick of butter per serving. How can they be out of butter?

I'm heading home, feeling happy (but yet frustrated with lack of butter) when I receive a call from Brian.

"When are you going to be home?" he asks. I tell him I'm about 5 minutes away.

"Okay," he says. "Don't park in the garage though. The dogs peed all over the presents under the tree and I've stacked them in the garage."

WHAT?? Wait a second....what???

So, yes, I come home to urine soaked gifts in the garage and a mess under the tree. Upon discovering the pee, Brian realized it had soaked under the adjacent rug as well. The dogs (and by dogs I mean Lucy, the repeat offender) must have used this spot for awhile, because there are now LARGE pie-plate size black spots on the wood floor from where her urine sat, unnoticed for days? weeks?

Breathe. Breathe.

Meanwhile, I go to investigate the gift damage. Luckily, most items were wrapped in boxes so the actual contents were okay. I did have to wash a few items of clothing that Brock was receiving. "Merry Christmas! Your gift is in the dryer."

Now, Brian and I have to rewrap the gifts. But do we really? Would it be wrong to traipse in and out of the garage when it's time for another gift?

This morning, probably because they were jealous that the dogs received all the attention for the present fiasco, I woke to cat pee on the mud room floor.

Remind me again why we have pets?

At least the cats had the decency to pee on flooring that is easily cleaned.

Once I cleaned up the early morning pee, I go to get a cup of coffee only to find that the coffee maker isn't working. And the Christmas lights aren't working. And the fridge is off. And gosh it's cold in here. Oh of course! The heat won't turn on.

Okay candid camera. Show your face. Don't ruin any more of my Christmas.

Just incase, I'm bracing myself for the next logical event: the crashing of the Christmas tree.

It's really only a matter of time. The tree we happened to pick out leans a bit (okay a lot) to one side. Straightening it out involved using stacks of magazines and free weights to hold down the base.

Merry Christmas everyone!


karen gerstenberger said...

Oh, Erin, what a fiasco! I'm so sorry...but I do think that when you go back to work after the holidays, it might seem funnier to you than it does just now, and other people will enjoy reading about it. A new story idea! (My grandparents had a dog that did this in nearly every room of their home - all hardwood floors.)

BTW, I received your message and will let you know if I think of anything. Kiwanis is preparing an all-day, public, sewing & awareness event for our guild in 2011. Would that be the kind of thing you are thinking about?

Merry Christmas to you and your family. Nothing (not even pet pee) can take away the sweetness of that.

Butlers said...

Whoa Nelly........ARE you in fact on Candid Camera?? Holy cow! (Nelly being in fact the Cow).
Yes..i am babbling nonsense in this post because my brain is MUSH from wrapping so many friggin presents. 5 kids equals and INSANE amount of presents to wrap.
Merry Christmas!

Still Waiting said...

Ouch. Well, hope the holiday turned out ok? It reminds me of your cats that usually pee on luggage. Lesson for us all: Never get carpet, leave everything up high, don't by anything expensive, and if you do, lock it up :-)
Love you and hope your new year's is better!

Birdman said...

Very reminiscent of that year I got a desk for Christmas. Remember how cold it was w/o heat?